Have you ever noticed how people complain about their life situations and scream to the hills about their sorrow, and then when good things happen they are amazingly silent. We all go through things that challenge our perspective, our peace of mind, and our faith. That is a part of the human experience, but too often we keep a long memory of the bad and a short memory of the good. It seems like an unbalanced equation.

One of my mentees called me to tell me about a major award she received. This young lady is amazing at her craft and she won a prize in a category with much bigger names than she has, so this was cause to rejoice. My voice was elevated, and I was near shouting levels with the news that someone I love and encourage had such great success. She simply said, “Yeah, its pretty of cool”. I was not sure if I was more excited about her win or frustrated at her response.

This is the same young lady that calls me at least once a month singing sad songs of disappointment and woe. I am lonely, tired, bored, unappreciated, and overlook are a few of the recurring themes. Now, my wife and I love her very much and she is an amazing person, but this inequality caused me angst. I had to ask her why her cries in her troubles are louder than her praises in her triumphs. That seems to be the key question for many of us.

I wonder why we do that? Is it because we think that we don’t deserve the bad things that happen to us, but somehow we deserve the good? Or maybe we are just big whiney babies and we are not mature enough to see that the sun rises on the just and the unjust equally? I believe that the bad gives us contrast and context for the good. As a Christian my theology must have room for pain. After all, the faith is founded upon a brutal sacrificial death. 

So how do we change the equation? I think we start by complaining less. Then instead of talking about what we don’t have, lets be thankful for what we do have. Gratefulness in the positive times produces a greater capacity for gratefulness in the negative. I believe we would experience more joy in our lives if we learned to celebrate our successes rather than complain in our sorrows.